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Remember the day when you got married? Everything was superb since you were in love and were loved. Life was wonderful as you anticipated a lifetime of marriage happiness and a life full of love and happiness. Your marriage vows were so meaningful as you looked into each others eyes knowing you both will live together happily as long as you are alive. You did not anticipate to be thinking how to avoid divorce.

What happened? Now one or both of you is thinking or threatening divorce. Wedded life is not what you anticipated and your lover turned into a husband/wife. The love you once shared is never mentioned and indeed never felt as you drift farther and farther apart. You did not understand that living together for entire life could seem so long.

Unhappy weddings are not rare. Sadness sometimes begins on the honeymoon and at times years later. It may come all of a sudden or draw near you like old age. Many of us have stared in the mirror and thought who that old person is. It's like that in wedding when you look at your spouse and wonder who that stranger is. Surely, that's not the person you got married to....

But it is and you may be in love and happily married all once more with a little mutual understanding. Avoiding divorce is possible. Do not even mention the D word until you have given it a honest try to relight the flame that was once there. Look closely and I am sure you may see a little flame now.

You have in fact been told that to have a happy marriage you should communicate. So, start with talking. Whatsoever has been the cause of your problems discuss them openly and wisely. What have you got to lose? Communicate and settle. A happy life is learning to cooperate as it will not always go your way. Do not allow the wind blow you away but bend a little.

Both of you bring to the talk table a list of things you would like to see the other do to save the marriage. Do not only be negative. List the things which infuriate you but also list things which give you joy and make you happy. Take the list seriously and implement it today.

Do not allow the list limit your actions. Create ways to make your spouse feel special and loved again. Enlighten them in a short note that you love and appreciate them by means of email or a phone call. They could be busy so do not hang back. Say sweet nothings and leave them wanting more. Marriage should be fun and filled with humor. You are more likely to live together if you chuckle together.

Get closer. Touch each other. When you pass, kiss their neck or ear or squeeze their hand. Do things together rather than watching TV. Special interests together provide an opportunity to do more talking, bonding and recollecting why you loved them in the first place. The bottom line here is to be friends and lovers. When esteem returns so does love and when you love someone you can avoid divorce.

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